While some interviews get turned into articles or fully written pieces, others should be uploaded in the raw question and answer format; this is one of those interviews. I spoke to Oderus Urungus of GWAR earlier and I can’t make this any more entertaining if I tried, I spent half the interview covering the microphone to hide my childish giggling at the supreme alien overlords responses. What was interesting is that he seamlessly slipped between Oderus and Dave Brockie, leading to both hilarious answers, and deeper honest answers.
I’ll upload the audio file fully soon, but for now here is the text….
Sound the Charge: Hello! How are you doing?
Hello there Mr Morton, how are you doing today?
I am very well how are you?
I’m fine! I’m fine I’m fine, just another day in, actually, Richmond Virginia keeping an eye on the slaves, making sure that they’re getting everything ready for the debut of our brand new tour that goes out the door here on Tuesday in the wake of the release of Battle Maximus!
And very good product placement immediately, good work!
Thank you, exactly, I’ve gotten pretty good at this over the years.
I know you’ve been doing interviews all week so I’ll try not to keep you to long and try not to bore the cuttlefish off you.
Oh, think nothing of it, you know, a lot of people have to dig ditches for a living or squeeze the pustules off of elephants buttholes. Basically, I, I make a living yelling at people and today is no exception, I’ve just got to sit here and answer questions from the human race that are all about me and anyway and that’s my favourite thing to talk about so let’s get on with it!
Well the new album, Battle Maximus, has been out for about ten days or so now, do reviews and ratings have much meaning to you anymore?
Well, you know, I would answer in two ways. The first way would be NO, I COULDN’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING HUMAN RACE THINKS ABOUT ME AND MY WORK, and as far as the rest of the guys in GWAR feel I’m sure they feel the same way. Then the other person would say, yes. It’s very gratifying to work as hard as we did on a record like this with so much at stake and know that we are enjoying at least for now the support of the metal community. I think if GWAR had made a bad album in the wake of losing Flattus then the sharks would have descended in a feeding frenzy and said (in a mocking tone) “see, we told you, the one guy in the band that could play his instrument died and everything else sucks now” and that simply is not the case.
Flattus was an amazing guitar player and we’ll always miss him. But there’s some other guys around here, one of them name Balsac the Jaws of Death and a certain new dude who goes by the name of Pustulus that are pretty goddamn good themselves. And this album HAD to meet with Flattus’s approval, and hopefully it did. Only time will tell, but for right now, GWAR seems to be on a roll.
With Flattus sadly departing, did he leave any songs or riffs behind that appeared on the new album?
Uh no, well actually yes, in his old..Flattus had his own studio of course in Antartica and he’s the one who convinced us to go ahead and build Slave Pit Studios which he designed and he was gonna engineer and produce the new album, and unfortunately that was not to be. So we went ahead and did it ourselves and I have to tell you, I’ve done so many interviews today I’ve actually forgotten what the fucking question was, what was it?
*Laughs* I was asking if Flattus left..
Oh oh yes! In his old studios, he has left just, I mean, there were more hard drives there than there were in Osama Bin Laden’s house. Verbally he was the most quiet of the Scumdogs but it was more that he let his guitar do the talking and many nights when we would be partying upstairs with the resurrected corpses of famous film stars, everyone from Kerry Grant to Liberace to Marilyn Monroe, involved in great necro-bestial-butt sex orgies, Flattus would be in the studio working on the music.
He was also, many people don’t know, a complete virtuoso; he played every single fucking instrument. So I think that, I think that on those hard drives, there are so many fucking Flattus compositions that have yet to be released. It’s really a daunting task to go back and listen to them all. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were fifty or sixty songs on them quite honestly but we figured we would give it a while, concentrate on writing the new material and perhaps then we would delve into some of these, into the vaults.
But yes, I assure you, just like Thin Lizzy and Phil Lynott, they recently found that huge pile of work that he’d done and a very similar thing could happen with Flattus. He was an incredibly prolific musician and I’m sure we haven’t heard the last from him.
It’s good to hear so many Maximuses paying respect, how did you get guys like Ol Drake, or to use his proper name – Twatticus, to get involved?
Were they were bound to, as members of the Maximus clan they knew that if one of the Maximuses ever perished in battle, or.. we’re not even really sure what happened to Flattus, we just know that he returned to the stars. We knew..they knew, they were blood bound if GWAR ever blew the horn of hate announcing the departure of a Scumdog, they were blood bound, bound by oath and rituals that date back to their conception, to obey the law of GWAR and return to their brothers to wage the battle Maximus to see who got the right to carry on in the footsteps of Flattus. So I had no doubt we were going to get the crème de la crème and at the end of that, some would call it an audition process, I would call it a Holocaust. Pustulus Maximus came through, won the day, and now the era of Pustulus has begun.
Moving on to a lighter subject, you’re about to begin a tour in support of the album, who can we expect to see decapitated, disemboweled and generally injured?
Well of course there’s Mr Perfect and his mutated master race, who are all completely full of shit so they’re all going down right off the bat. Then, you’ve got a new pope; I think it’s pretty obvious that he’s got to die. I mean GWAR, it’s a tradition, we kill popes. Then there’ll be a smattering of obsolete royal figures, completely useless celebrities and whoever else wanders across the stage and gets the shit kicked out of them. Plus there’s a new feature to the show this year. The spew trolls, basically these are trolls that hang around at the front of the stage and do nothing but vomit blood on you for the entire show. So we’ve upped the ante in many ways and believe it or not, we’ve actually been rehearsing this muppet show like a bunch of motherfuckers. It’s like the MGM studio lot over here, the Slave pit.
I think we’ve got the best album, the best show we’ve done in fucking years, we’ve did it, because nothing less than the best would satisfy our fans and would satisfy Flattus. I know people after Flattus left us, they were filled with anxiety and doubt, will GWAR continue on, without arguably there lead, I mean obviously their lead guitar player but one of the main songwriters of GWAR and instead of being terrified by this proposition, we embraced it as an opportunity to provide an example that in the face of the most DEVASTATING consequences, you can become a stronger being; now, that doesn’t always work but you’ve gotta fucking try. And we did, and time will tell how people fucking react to this, but when you’ve got some of those guest Maximuses that came in, it’s obvious we’ve got some pretty heavy back up. And nobody was fucking more important in the process than our new Scumdog, Pustulus Maximus who is such a horror, right out the gate after he bested Tyrone Der Teufel (Mark Morton, Lamb of God) and Spattus (Zach Blair) and Twatticus and all those other guys he came in there and started writing the new GWAR album and we were like “shit, this guy knows what he’s doing, lets just follow him”
Well that answered my next question on how he was fitting in so I’ll skip ahead. Do you ever get problems with venues not wanting you to coat their rooms in blood?
Well , basically, yeah. There are plenty of clubs like that and those clubs basically don’t invite GWAR to come play there. Anybody who does a GWAR show knows full well what they’re getting into. And I’ll tell you, GWAR fans drink a lot of beer, they know no matter how badly we fuck the place up, basically all that’s going to happen is that it might catch on fire, and that everything’s going to be stained bright red. And you know, no big deal, you sold so much beer at the show that you can take a prostitute to Tahiti for three weeks and get your dick sucked, so it’s a good trade.
Can there ever be too much blood?
Oh never, our goal is to actually drown the audience in blood. And that’s why this Superbowl thing is interesting thing to me. If we could play the half time show, kill the entire crowd, I’m pretty sure we could fill the entire stadium with blood. Then the teams would be forced to play the second half using boats and I don’t know, maybe that would spice up the show to the point I would actually give a shit about it.
I’d definitely watch that, but have they officially responded yet?
Unbelievably they did, the official, from the NFL office actually called the dude who started the petition and basically sent out an armoured reconnaissance drone to kind of figure out what the fuck it was GWAR wanted. There hasn’t been a formal offer and there hasn’t been a response since then, but we definitely got their attention, and if nothing else happens other than they finally realise people are sick to fucking death of these manufactured cheese ball pop stars playing at the biggest music venue in the world, because sickeningly enough, that’s the single biggest performance for a musician in the entire fucking world per year and you know, maybe it’ll actually effect their voting process and they’ll say fuck it, it’s supposed to be the most violent sport on earth, let’s get the most violent band on earth to play the fucking half time show. And that’s not even saying, let’s play the half time show, I’m saying GWAR actually wants to play the game, we will take on the entire fucking NFL with one hand tied behind our back and we will still win the fucking game.
Are you going to have any other team members or just GWAR?
Oh no, just GWAR, me, Beefcake, Balsac, Pustulus, uhh and of course, that other guy, oh, Jizmak our drummer. And of course the many slaves, and of course, my cave troll sidekick, Bonesnapper. I mean I don’t think we have a problem. I believe the typical American Football team is eleven members and at most we’ll have about nine, but honestly we could only do it with two or three, in fact you could pretty much single handily, I could take on the entire NFL and as long as I had my broadsword, there could be no doubt as to how this contest would turn out.
Speaking of Broadsword, when going through various customs and airports, are the weapons and decapitated heads ever an issue?
I skip airport and customs; that’s for the slaves, they have to drive around they have to fly around; they have to take planes trains and automobiles. I and the rest of the band fly everywhere in a giant bat. Before the gig we’ll circle for a while, you know, getting wasted then well jump off the bat and just plunge through the roof and there gig begins, I don’t have time to have a passport or shit like that, I’m sure they’ve got a big file on me somewhere, but fuck, I don’t even carry an ID
Are you allowed to have a passport though?
I’m sure the only reason they would say I had to have passport is so they could say I couldn’t have one. Antarctica doesn’t really have a passport so we skip the paperwork part, it’s just give us the fucking money so we can blow it on drugs, let’s do the show and get the fuck out of here.
Oderus shortly disappears to discuss matters with a slave…
In 2011 you played Download and there you kind of got cut off a bit early, people are spreading rumours that because you ripped the Queens tits off you got cancelled, what happened there?
I really don’t know, they turned the fucking PA off. I don’t think we’d gone over on our slot. I know those festivals have got to run like clockwork, there’s a ton of bands, you’ve got to get them all up there and they’ve all got to do a great job. It’s an amazing amount of work getting these bands just boom boom boom so if we’d gone over that’s what happens, they turn the fucking PA off, they have to keep to their schedule.
Just the fact we were there at all was just a triumph, we played almost all the major festivals, we haven’t played Hellfest yet, that would be great. And we really really really want to get back to Bloodstock, and Europe in general, it’s been a couple of years now, it’s been way to fucking long so hopefully with Battle Maximus out on Metal Blade Records over there, people seem to be really digging the new album, hopefully GWAR shall return to your fair country, in 2015 I hope.
That sort of leads us on to our next question, Metallica’s manager started speaking about problems with touring and the Euro recently, how much does this whole economy crisis affect a band like GWAR who rely on a big stage show that is obviously quite expensive?
Are you talking about climate change?
Economic change, with the whole cash, and no one having it thing
Ohhhh, GWAR doesn’t care about money. GWAR uses money for two things, buy drugs and also Jizmak likes to line his urinal stall with this, he’s part dog so he sleeps in a nest and he likes it to be lined with thousand dollar bills. Personally money is kind of cool because I like getting huge piles of it, and then setting it on fire in front of poor people, it drives them crazy. But a band like Metallica, what they were complaining about money? I really don’t get that.
It was the manager, they were saying they were an export, like coca cola so they have to tour when it’s financially viable
Well there are bands where money is actually part of the reason they do things and when you’re Metallica you’ve made so many awesome albums and you’re such a great fucking band, basically they can do whatever the fuck they want. They’ve got my approval; I don’t even care if they don’t put out more good albums. Metallica will always be one of my favourite bands.
Once you’ve made so many great records, it’s very, very difficult to keep that up and Metallica still absolutely slays live. I just haven’t found myself particularly excited about any new releases ever since they did that stupid movie about their psychiatrist. We don’t need to see that shit dude, please, let us continue the illusion of you being rock n roll gods. They have everything they need. For Metallica, maybe…for bands that fucking don’t have any money it’s a real pain in the ass, but Metallica’s got more money than the fucking Church so I don’t get it, for other people yeah, pain in the ass.
Are there any new bands that actually excite you?
I like Amon Amarth, I like Lamb of God, it takes me a few years to catch up with what humans are doing, I’m so busy being completely obsessed with GWAR and all that we are, basically the only bands I get ot see are the ones that we’re on tour with. But 9 times out of 10 if you look at my iPod, and yes, Oderus has a fucking iPod, it’ll be the classics, the Slayer’s, the Metallica’s, Thin Lizzy’s got a spot really close to my heart, there’s just so many more I could go on and on. But as far as new bands, it’s hard, hard to keep up with them. A band I would consider new would be any band I’ve heard of in the last ten fucking years and really only a few stick out during that time. I’m a big Behemoth fan, I love Battlecross, Pig Destroyer, there’s a ton of them out there, there’s a ton of bands that I love that I can’t tell you their name, can’t tell you who they are, there’s just a song of theirs that I love, it’s a real struggle to keep up with it all. Yes it’s true, even though I’m an undead chaos warrior I keep up with metal.
You’re coming up to the 30th anniversary of GWAR as a band, why has the human race been allowed to survive this long?
Well I don’t know, I mean I actually talk to human beings who’ve survived like ten or twenty GWAR shows. I’m like “how the hell did you that,” I thought we were killing everybody, apparently some are slipping through the cracks. I credit our longevity to the fact we drink so much. Look, they use alcohol as a preservative, when you got the museum and you see those horn toads from the Pleistocene Epoch or maybe the crustaceous period, I’m not sure, they’re preserved in alcohol so what I try to do is keep so much alcohol in my body all the time that I’m kept in this perfect state and it’s working for me so far. So yes, the reason we’re still around is because we’re a bunch of fucking drunks.
There are plans for humans to colonise mars, about 200,000 people have applied so far but only 4 will get there, how do you feel about humans trying to escape earth?
Well it’s inevitable that they’re going to have. Sooner or later it will either get to the point where A) Mr Perfect will beat GWAR and will enslave the human race, or B), GWAR finally gets around to killing all of you, or C) something else happens that I don’t know what it is.
You’re slowly sucking all the life out of this planet, turning it into a burned out husk. Floating in space, it will be a dead world, and you’re going to have to find new places to live. But don’t worry about all that, GWAR will take care of all that shit, just hang out, quit your job, drink a whole bunch, buy Battle Maximus, stay at home and watch horror movies, have as much sex as possible and I’m saying, if you’re getting blown, make sure you eat some pussy okay?
Try to double that back. A lot of people are like “Oderus why isn’t my girlfriend sucking my dick more,” and I’m like first of all A) do you have a gun, because that’ll work, and B) are you eating her pussy? And I’m not talking about eating the fucking thing; I’m just talking about licking it a little bit. A little pussy licking will go a long way guys. And if you absolutely can’t stand it, rub some peanut butter on it.
*I giggle my way through the next question* Going back to the 30th anniversary, have you got any plans for it?
Everyone keeps reminding me of it. The 25th one sounded pretty cool, the 30th one just sounds like we’re getting old as SHIT. We’ve got a couple of years to figure it out, I’m sure it’ll be a hell of a party. For now just trying to deal with this Mr Perfect asshole and knock out this fucking world tour which fucking the UK and Europe must be a part of because you’ve been denied your GWAR FAR far to fucking long. After we’ve got that out of the way, who knows what we’ll get into. There might even be a GWAR Christmas album for all I know
Is there anything you still want to achieve?
We’ve still never done a GWAR video game, believe it or not, a really good one. We’re in that Beavis and Butthead video game but we need a GWAR video game. All about GWAR and it’s got to be the most horrific, fucked up messed up video game that ever fucking happened. We’ve done lots of GWAR movies and GWAR live concerts and stuff, but we’ve never really done the ultimate GWAR..the whole story of GWAR from the very beginning, Scumdogs of the universe banished to earth, enslave the human race, all that crap, you need a big budget for that shit, there’s many things we haven’t done. If we could just STOP smoking so much crack maybe we actually would.
The crack addictions still afflicting you then?
I wouldn’t say afflicting me so much as it defines every iota of my personality. What can I say, I love it. I’ve combined it with alcohol, so yes, my new drug of choice is crackahol, sweetened with Molly.
The kids will love it.
The alchocrackamolly, that’s it.
And that’s how you make your money for the video game
I guess we could, but as they say in Scarface, don’t get high off your own supply, and I’ve never been able to do that one.
I’m going to let you go now as it’s getting to six o’clock (the end of the appointed time) is there anything you’d like to say?
Well hell yeah. All you motherfuckers in the UK. GWAR 28 years ago was vomited onto your world and you’ve always supported us, we were even banned by parliament at one point I believe. The connection between GWAR and the people in the UK and Europe in general is undeniable and it is an OBSECNITY that we have not returned there. The new album is out right now, pick it up, pick it up and listen to the glory of GWAR. Honour our fallen Scumbag brother, Flattus Maximus and DEMAND that GWAR returns to Europe and the UK as soon as possible, and then, and only then you will get an axe through the head and your girlfriend will go through the god damn meat grinder. And we will have one fucking party.
Thanks very much, hopefully we’ll see you in Scotland again
Okay my friend, we love playing Scotland so hopefully we’ll be in Glasgow or Edinburgh or somewhere.