Do you need a soundtrack to your next Crusade? (Not you Britain First, fuck off)
Is your regular listening not heraldic enough to summon the spirit of The Holy Grail?
Then you need…
… a failed punchline. The final track from the album, The J Team, was once available on Soundcloud which was going to be linked here. You’ll just have to purchase the new album to enjoy this particular witticism.
Yes indeed, redefining the meaning of the term “old school,” the most quest driven band to come out of Britain since the middle ages, or since Alestorm, has returned for another series of battle hymns.
The album opens with a distinctly more sombre introduction than the previous albums Hark The Herald, giving the listener just enough to time to ponder if Jaldaboath have turned a bit more serious on us. At which stage the song kicks in properly and you remember you’re listening to a song called Roland The Farter.
After a short round of “name that voice” I retreated to the press release to confirm that it was Sir Christopher Bowes (who at some point has been knighted) providing guest vocals about red hot pokers up the bum on Warrior Monks of Whitehawk.
While plundering the depths of said release I came across the answer to one of my main issues; just how to genreify Jaldaboath. When one reviews Cannibal Corpse, one mentions death metal, when one reviews Slayer, one mentions thrash metal. Apparently, when one reviews Jaldaboath one mentions that they play “Castle-dwelling Cacophonic Rock, Horse-riding Head Banging Metal and Heraldic Templar Metal EXCLUSIVELY.” Problem solved.
While perhaps not as over the top (as I write this “she wants my sausage..she wants his sausage” is looping round, I may have to revise that statement) as the previous album, The Further Adventures steps up the entertainment factor by far.
Perhaps realising there is genuinely a market for CDCRHRHBM&HTM music, Grand Master Jaldaboath has allowed his lyrics to go even more over the edge; one of my favourites featuring in Black Metal Beauty: “plumpish – this wenches britches smell of cod fish.” You can take your political driven or heartfelt lyrics and chuck them in the bin, this is apparently all I need to have a good time.
Credit also to the delivery of the line “well if you think you can find something more appetising in a bloody band t-shit, good luck to you!” for stumbling into a Rik Mayall style cry.
The frequent samples or covers of other songs is also a point winner. Black Metal Beauty with its small Blackadder segments, The J Team, the Metallica/Eastenders combo, The Trooper, all dark aged up, all hilarious.
There are just so many moments where you stop and can only say “what the fuck is going on,” Raise of the Crummons and DEX, the Whispering Dwarf to name a couple. Earlier, when I said it might not be as over the top as The Rise of the Heraldic Beasts, I think I lied.
If you like your music like you like your comedy (men banging coconuts together and shouting insults in a French accent) then there’s a good chance you’ll like this. If you like your music like you like your serious drama (angry dudes on bikes) then you should probably steer far away from this.
After all, it’s all a bit silly.
For comedy value and for some catchy heraldic metal, we bequeath the following score out of 5.
Order your copy here: http://www.deathtomusic.com/JALD2/JALD2.html